new blog...new journey

Not sure if anyone out there even follows this blog anymore, but if you are a person who checks in periodically I am starting a new blog called "a faith filled life with my priceless gifts"....that's right I said gifts!  I know I haven't posted for an eternity, and when I last blogged, we were all paper ready and waiting for God's call to move towards our second child.  Back in early October, God spoke to me and told me that our second child was going to join our family in a different way than Caleb did and that we should take some of our adoption fund to pay off some debt.  It took me a few days or maybe weeks (I can't really remember) to even talk to Zach about this, and he of course was hesitant, but in the end believed what I had heard and we paid off the debt leaving us with very little money in terms of an infant adoption in our adoption fund. 
So we continued just going about our lives, as normal, still not feeling any push or call.  Then on November 1st we went to visit K, Caleb's birthmom, and we were secretly presented with the most random request, that only God put together.  Without getting too into crazy details, the short of the story is that Caleb's bio great grandma approached me and told me that she had temporary custody of Caleb's bio cousins (again) and said reunification wasn't looking promising at that point.  She told me they had permanent placements for the older 3 kids, but were still looking for "family" with whom to place Chloe.  I was shocked for a few reasons: 1.) we had no idea Great Grandma had custody again 2.) Chloe is 35 days younger than Caleb and 3.) this was exactly what God had spoken to me about and I was freaking out!!!  As soon as we got in the car to leave, Zach and I began to talk about the possibility of Chloe becoming a part of our family, and to be honest our thoughts and emotions were all over the place.  We spoke to the case worker and were in touch with great grandma regularly over the next few weeks, and really went from absolute "yes we are doing this" to "no way in a million years can we risk this for our family" (because it was going to be similar to fostering with risks that Chloe could still be reunited with her bio parents) and back to "yes" again.  After a whole lot of prayer and discussion with pretty much anyone who would listen, Zach and I decided that if Chloe was returned to her bio parents, we would be fine because God would take care of us, just as he did in the past.  However we knew if we didn't take this risk there wasn't a home for this sweet girl and we weren't sure what was going to happen to her.  So we decided to pursue legal custody followed by adoption (which we are still in the middle of).  It has been a crazy road that continues to be scary at times, but she is such a part of our family that it's all worth it! 
Here is a picture of our sweet family, just a couple of months after Chloe joined our family. 

She has grown and changed so much and so have we.  I never imagined having a 21 month old child join our family would present so many challenges, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  She really is thriving with us and loves her brother Caleb.  We are so excited to give them a daily biological connection as they grow. 
Anyhow I guess that's all for now.  Hop on over to my new blog in the meantime to follow what's happening with these two little boogers.  When God places adoption on our hearts again, I will be back here blogging that adventure.
Much love,
S&Z&C&C

All set....except....

A few weeks ago we got a letter from Adoption Link that our homestudy update was completed and gave us the ok to send our books out to all of the agency social workers.  I have the book completely ready except for one page that Zach needs to complete.  Our book has been to this point since before we got that letter, so needless to say we are making no progress towards baby #2.  We both are a little hesitant for our own reasons.  Zach is hesitant for financial reasons and I due to just starting a new job.  I am normally a "gotta have faith" kind of girl when it comes to things like this.  I know God will provide just what we need when it's our time to become parents to a second child.  I guess I just haven't felt the call quite yet.  Zach on the other hand is more cautious and just jumping in isn't quite his style when it comes to big life changing events.  He knows the Lord is working on his heart to prepare him for adoption #2.
As for our little family of 3, we enjoyed a wonderful vacation to the beach a few weeks ago.  Caleb loved the sand, the water, and the sun!  Zach and I got to spend the entire week with our little man, just the 3 of us, which is something that has not happened since he was days old.  It was a blessed week!!
My new job is going well.  It's a total one-eighty from what I was doing before, but it's so fun to work with kids.  I am able to do the large majority of my paperwork from home which is a blessing as paperwork makes up over half of my job now. 
Some friends of ours stopped by the other night to introduce us to the new little man that will be joining their family thru adoption.  He is a sweet 2 year old and will be a wonderful addition to their family.  God definitely has had a hand in joining them together.  It's amazing to see His grace and love at work! 
Much love!!
S&Z&C

Just Hanging Out!

Well summer is almost over, which means we are getting closer to the tentative plan for distributing our profile books.  Our homestudy update is complete and has been sent to the director of the agency.  So that means our books can go out whenever we are ready.  I can't help but think how different we feel this time around.  Partially because we know what to expect (and by that I mean we have no idea what to expect because every adoption is so different).  I think the other factor is the urge isn't so prominent this time around.  Don't get me wrong we are very excited to add another child to our family, but we are enjoying our time with Caleb and we know the child God places in our family will be meant just for us and totally worth the wait!  We are however gradually preparing for our next child to come home.  The painting and decorating has begun for Caleb's "big boy" room.  I want him to be comfortable and settled into his new room and bed prior to our new family member coming home.  
I have some exciting news to share unrelated to adoption.  In about 3 weeks I will be starting a position as a school based therapist!  I am so excited to have holiday and summer breaks off.  It will be an amazing schedule for our family. 
That's all for now!
Much love,
S&Z&C

Sooner than Later??

We had our visit with our social worker on Wednesday evening and all went well.  She wants to have our update completed and turned into the director by the end of the month!!  I was surprised it would be done so quickly.  Now comes the bigger decision about when to put our profile books out.  The Lord is definitely working in our hearts as Zach and I both are feeling more excited than overwhelmed about a new member of our family.  Please pray for us as we want to follow God's will.  He may make us a family our 4 before we know it!!
Much Love,
S&Z&C

An update

We are well into our homestudy update for adoption #2!  We have made it thru all of the paperwork (which is much easier the second time around).  We were supposed to meet with our social worker last Friday, but given the storms that passed thru the area we had to reschedule for the 18th.  I have started updating our profile book for potential birth parents to look thru.  We are still not feeling the urgency but I know God will lay it on our hearts when the time is right.  I am trying to be proactive and prepared with our books when that time arises.  We appreciate any prayers for this process as it is getting more real each day. 
As strange as it sounds Zach and I still struggle with our failed adoption.  Going thru the update process has uncovered some of those buried heartaches.  We think about S and both of her kids often.  I occasionally want to contact her but am afraid that we will set ourselves up for more heartache.  I will admit that I have in the past googled her name to see if there are any records of her recently.  She was on my mind today and I realized I haven't made my google search for months so I checked it out.  My heart broke as I saw she was arrested back in November.  Couldn't find a lot of details, but my first thoughts were for the kids.  I wonder where they are?....I hope that they are safe.....I wonder if they were with her when she was arrested?  I'm sure I will never know the answers, but I do pray for these kids all the time. 
As for our little man, he continues to grow and change so quickly.  He loves to read books and chase the dog (much to the dog's dismay).  He brings us such joy with his laugh, his smile, and his love!  We are so grateful for him and the gift he has been for our family. 
I will post another update soon!
Much Love,
S&Z&C

What Adoption is All About!!

Just thoughts...

As we initiate our homestudy update I can't help but think about who will meet this time around.  With whom will have a chance to share the love of our Savior.  I mean lets face it, we had an interesting first match with our agency and Zach and I have both said we would stay in the same situation again.  We felt like we needed to be a solidity in S's life.  We forgave her repeatedly despite the continual lies she told and stuck with her until she finally realized we weren't going to turn our backs on her. 
I have to admit, much to the annoyance of my husband I listen almost exclusively to contemporary Christian radio these days and almost every morning on my way to work the song "Live Like That" by Sidewalk Prophets is played.  The lyrics minister to me.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the song here are the lyrics courtesy of Klove.com

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of those
Was my worship more than just a song

(Chorus)
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You
If love is who I am
Then this is where I stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back
I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true

People pass
And even if they don't know my name
Is there evidence that I've been changed
When they see me, do they see You

Chorus

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

I want to show the world the love You gave for me
(I want to live like that)
I'm longing for the world to know the glory of the King 


I know this song is so much bigger than our adoption story.  I do my best to strive to apply these lyrics to my everyday life, but let's face it....it's easier sang than done!  But hey, it's a good goal!


On a different note we have a visit planned with K tomorrow to celebrate Birthmother's Day.  She is coming to our new house to see Caleb.  I pray that it all goes well and the visit ends with smiles.  I can't wait to see Caleb's reaction to her.  The last time we saw her he definitely had a connection to her and I'm sure as he grows that will become more apparent, at least with his ability to show that reaction.  There are times when I feel like this might become awkward for all of us, but we are reassured that this openess is the right choice in this situation.  We want Caleb to know his birth family and Zach and I want to continue to love K and share life with her.  


Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there and if you are waiting to be a mommy, please know God has a plan.  I know it can be a difficult holiday when your heart is breaking for a child, but rest assured it will happen in His time.
Blessings,
S&Z&C