Happy New Year

We hope you all had a wonderful and blessed Christmas.  We had an awesome Christmas with our families.  It was great to get away for a couple of days and just enjoy the holiday.  Over the last few days I have been checking my phone compulsively to make sure that K hasn't called to tell me she's in labor, which could make for a long 4 weeks if she goes to her due date! 
As we approach 2011, Zach and I are hopeful that the coming year brings us peace with all that we've been through this year.  When I look back on the past 12 months, I can't believe how far we have come, as individuals, as a couple, and as Christians.  I remember Zach and I talked after one of our adoption classes about how all adoptive couples seem to have amazing faith in God's plan.  Now I truly know why.  I mean I knew when we embarked on this journey it would have it's up's and down's, but I never imagined it would have been like this.  In some ways I thought we would be invincible to this so-called adoption roller coaster, that failed adoptions happened to other people.  After experiencing a failed adoption (twice) I am humbled by God's grace, and so very thankful that He has so faithfully brought another birthmom into our lives so quickly.  Zach and I both still have our days when we are nearly brought to tears for "our" baby girl, but in the next thought we are so thankful that things didn't work out and that we have such a positive experience to look forward to with K. 
We appreciate and feel truly blessed to have so many people follow us on this journey.  We pray for a healthy and happy 2011 for all of you!!
Much love....S&Z

Exciting update

Zach and I got to go with K on Wednesday to her ultrasound.  This was a first for us and it was simply amazing.  God's creation is awesome and getting to experience this brought tears to both of our eyes.  Just to be able to see his little body moving around in there left me nearly speechless.  What an incredible sight to see, since it is something I will never feel.  The dr said the baby is healthy and measuring exactly where he should be for 34 weeks.  He is head down which was a huge relief to K.  We then got to tour the hospital where K will deliver and meet with a social worker there.  It's nice to know where we need to park and to know our way around at least a little bit before the emotions of this birth come into play.  It was great to spend a few hours with K and her grandma.  We love getting to know her and are so very excited about our adoption plan with her.
We are looking forward to spending time with our families during the Christmas season and hoping to continue to move past the grief we have experienced this year.  We are praying for a brighter and baby-filled 2011! 
May this season be filled with love!
S&Z

December Already???

Wow...time is flying by.  We are looking forward to spending the holidays with our families and reminding ourselves this may be our last Christmas just the two of us, so we should treasure it and not wish it away.  Next year it won't be so easy to pack up the car and go (not that we aren't looking forward to that).  I can't believe K is due next month already!  Next week we get to go to her ultrasound with her.  I don't know what to expect, but I'm quite certain it's going be pretty cool to see that little guy up on the screen knowing that in the next several weeks he could be in our arms! 
I've found myself really doubting that we are ever going to have a baby because of what S has put us through twice.  I have looked repeatedly at the agency website just to realize that adoption plans really are successful!  It's not that I don't believe K, but I can't help but have doubts with all that we've been through.  Our social worker was very encouraging the other day and reassured me that we will be united with the baby that was meant just for our arms.  We are very hopeful that we will meet him in January!! 
As we prepare for this Christmas season, we are doing our best to keep God's greatest gift at the front of our hearts.  I have gotten over my anger towards S (most of the time), reminding myself that God forgives us repeatedly for our sins.  Zach and I are no better than S, and she deserves the same forgiveness that He is willing to give each and every one of us!  For us that forgiveness doesn't mean giving her a third chance, because we are not willing to do that, but we are willing to say hi if we would run into her and we will continue to pray for her.  We ask all of you to continue to pray for her as well...she needs the love of Jesus in her life!!
Hope you all have a blessed Christmas!!
S&Z