Waiting for direction

It's been quite awhile since I've written so I thought I'd post a quick update.  Zach and I had a wonderful Christmas, we are so blessed to have such great friends and family.  We just cannot wait until we can bring a child into the mix!  We continue to explore our options for adoption and are not yet "at home" with any particular agency.  We actually considered international adoption for a short time, but I think we're back to domestic.  We have said after the new year we would have our home study done, but that's just a week away and we still don't have an agency.  To add to the mix we are still tossing around the idea of moving closer to our families.  So far we feel no particular push or pull in either direction, so I guess until we do we will continue to pray for patience while God's plan unfolds.  Thanks to all of you for continued support and prayers.  We greatly appreciate the love that has been shown for us!!

Our homestudy

Zach and I have decided to continue on with our home study even if we aren't getting a baby in January as we had hoped.  We just want to be prepared if something like this comes up in the future.  We can also use our home study with an agency if that's the route we decide to pursue.  We will need 4 references to complete the process so some of you may be asked to complete one for us.  For those of you who don't know what a home study consists of it's a lot of paperwork.  Not looking at just your home, but the entire lives of adoptive parents.  We have to have physicals, be fingerprinted, cleared by the state, write an autobiography, have adoption training, have references, provide financial statements, copies of driver's license, auto insurance, health insurance, evacuation plan, pet vaccination record, a family picture, and a few more forms from the state that the home study agency will help us with.  So needless to say we will be working on this stuff for a couple of months at least.  It's a very exciting step that really gets the ball rolling for us!!

Our Journey Continues

Last night I got the answer, not the one I wanted to hear, but I did say I just wanted to know her answer and now I do.  This young lady who was possibly going to give Zach and I her son has decided to keep him.   Zach and I are of course saddened by this, but know that God has a plan for us and our child.  We feel with patience and obedience His plan will be fulfilled.  Please continue to pray for this young woman and her unborn child.  I'm not sure she really knows how difficult this is going to be, but it is her decision and I can't even imagine how difficult of a decision it would be to give your child up for adoption.  Thanks again for all of your continued support and prayers! 

Jump - Start

In the past few weeks Zach and I have been taking some time to deal with the news, reading some books, and just praying that God will help us with this loss and lead us to our child.  I received the most wonderful phone call from my mom yesterday morning and to keep the story simple and short, there's a young woman who is a friend of a friend of my mom's co-worker who is pregnant and looking for adoptive parents for her child.  She heard about Zach and I and wants to meet us!!!  We don't know if this is going to turn out to be our child, but we are definitely excited about the possibility.  We are caught off guard because we didn't expect anything to come about so quickly!  I spent my afternoon today contacting a lawyer and questioning agencies regarding the completion of a  home study that we need done ASAP since this young woman is due in January!!!
 I will definitely do my best to keep everyone updated.  Please keep this young woman and her child in your prayers as well as Zach and I- that we will have faith in the Lord's plan regardless of how this turns out.
Thanks so much....we love you all!!

What's Next??

We made one last visit to the fertility specialist on Wednesday, already knowing our test results because his nurse shared them with me over the phone.  He uttered regret in the news he was sharing with us, wishing there was something he could do to help us conceive our own child.  While he was explaining our "best" options, I sat there thinking that these were just not right for us.  We expressed that we were leaning toward a domestic newborn adoption and he was able to provide us with some good resources or at least some starting points.  I left the office almost feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, Zach was saddened, but reassuring me he was okay.  I have been searching for this answer for a long time, waiting patiently for the right time to find out.  Finally we have the answer and we can truly grieve the loss of our own biological children.  We have decided to continue exploring our options until we are both ready to take the next steps and bring a baby into our home.  We are not really sure how long the grieving process will last, but Zach and I both have faith that things will all work out in the end and more importantly in God's time.  My mom has always told me patience is a virtue....and it has never been more true than now.  We appreciate your prayers and continued support as we embark on this emotional endeavor to build our family.

The Starting Line

Zach and I found out about a month ago we are not be able to have our own children.  We have discussed the possibility of adopting since the beginning of our relationship, so it's not a new concept, it's just reality now.  I have felt called from a very young age to adopt, so now is the time for us to pursue that calling.  It's an exciting and scary process, but we know it will be worth it in the end.
We have discussed our options and prayed for God to show us some sort of sign....to lead us in the right direction.  We have gotten some good advice and encouragement from friends and acquaintances who have gone through the adoption process.  At this early point we are still deciding which avenue to pursue....public agency, private agency, or an adoption facilitator and then there are all the other questions regarding our child's health, history, race, age, etc.  At this point this list goes on and on....sometimes seeming as if the questions that arise will never end, when in reality we know they will and we know the answers will lead us to our child.  So for now we continue to pray that our questions will be answered and that we will have the patience to pursue this journey.