What's Next??

We made one last visit to the fertility specialist on Wednesday, already knowing our test results because his nurse shared them with me over the phone.  He uttered regret in the news he was sharing with us, wishing there was something he could do to help us conceive our own child.  While he was explaining our "best" options, I sat there thinking that these were just not right for us.  We expressed that we were leaning toward a domestic newborn adoption and he was able to provide us with some good resources or at least some starting points.  I left the office almost feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, Zach was saddened, but reassuring me he was okay.  I have been searching for this answer for a long time, waiting patiently for the right time to find out.  Finally we have the answer and we can truly grieve the loss of our own biological children.  We have decided to continue exploring our options until we are both ready to take the next steps and bring a baby into our home.  We are not really sure how long the grieving process will last, but Zach and I both have faith that things will all work out in the end and more importantly in God's time.  My mom has always told me patience is a virtue....and it has never been more true than now.  We appreciate your prayers and continued support as we embark on this emotional endeavor to build our family.

The Starting Line

Zach and I found out about a month ago we are not be able to have our own children.  We have discussed the possibility of adopting since the beginning of our relationship, so it's not a new concept, it's just reality now.  I have felt called from a very young age to adopt, so now is the time for us to pursue that calling.  It's an exciting and scary process, but we know it will be worth it in the end.
We have discussed our options and prayed for God to show us some sort of sign....to lead us in the right direction.  We have gotten some good advice and encouragement from friends and acquaintances who have gone through the adoption process.  At this early point we are still deciding which avenue to pursue....public agency, private agency, or an adoption facilitator and then there are all the other questions regarding our child's health, history, race, age, etc.  At this point this list goes on and on....sometimes seeming as if the questions that arise will never end, when in reality we know they will and we know the answers will lead us to our child.  So for now we continue to pray that our questions will be answered and that we will have the patience to pursue this journey.